Starting A New Chapter

DEAR SHERRY,

I recently moved and started a new job, and it feels bittersweet. What is the best way to honor all of my feelings?

Thank you!

STARTING A NEW CHAPTER

DEAR STARTING A NEW CHAPTER:

lt certainly can be bittersweet when we move or start a new job, because as one chapter in our life is beginning, it signifies the end of another. I have a few thoughts about what you can do to honor your feelings during these life events.

First, recognize that with any change in life, you will have both positive and negative feelings. Take the time to reflect, so that you can acknowledge and process whatever is coming up for you. No matter how excited you are about a change in your life, you are leaving something behind. Ponder what you will miss about your old home and previous job, what your home and job meant to you, or what they symbolized? When you move, you may be leaving a great neighborhood, good friends, or a home that you made your own and created so many memories in. It might be the childhood home you grew up in, or the first place you ever lived on your own.

Perhaps your old job was so easy and didn’t require a lot of energy and the new one is more challenging and will require a lot more from you. You may have had a mentor that you counted on, and now you feel like you're flying solo, so that can be scary. Maybe you are leaving your first job out of college or where you met your spouse, so you might find yourself reminiscing.

Further, recognize that moving and starting a new job are considered life crises because they are significant transitions. Even if we are ready to move on, there is comfort in what’s familiar and some element of nervousness and discomfort in new situations. Give yourself time to adjust to the new experiences. It is a process, and it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to unpack and create your space the way you like it. Anytime we are doing something new, remember that there is always a learning curve. I have been a therapist for over 30 years, and it often feels like I am riding a bike. But it can feel awkward when I take a new course and try to assimilate the material into what I already know. When I began putting my messages out online to reach large audiences, I remember how hard it was and how exposed I felt.

It can also be helpful to save mementos and have celebrations to mark these milestones. When I moved, I hung a framed puzzle of my old house in my new home. I loved looking at it and remembering my time there. I also drive by my old house and go out in the neighborhood once a year. It always brings a smile to my face. Take time to celebrate your accomplishments and what it took to get you there. Share your news, go out to dinner to celebrate, have a housewarming party, bask in the joy!

We learn and grow from all of our experiences. Take time to reflect on all of the chapters of your life and how they have shaped you. As you do so, you may smile or shed a tear as you honor yourself and the life you have led thus far.

Wishing you much success in your new job and many beautiful memories in your new home!

Sincerely,

SHERRY