How Do I Stop Exchanging Gifts With My Friends Without Hurting Their Feelings?

DEAR SHERRY:

I have a huge family and the holidays are overwhelming/exhausting enough as it is. The time/energy/$$ spent on gifts for friends and friends' kids is daunting. I really would like to reduce the number of friends I exchange gifts with, especially at Christmas. How can I get out of gift giving without hurting someone's feelings?

Signed,

I SWEAR, I AM REALLY NOT A GRINCH

DEAR I SWEAR I AM REALLY NOT A GRINCH:

It truly can be daunting and costly to buy for so many people.

I would let your friends know that you feel overwhelmed and are trying to do less over the holidays. Given that, you have decided to stop exchanging gifts with friends and their kids and that you hope they understand.

Believe it or not, I think many people would welcome you saying that you no longer want to exchange gifts. I think so many people end up feeling stressed with their “To-Do List” during the holiday and do not enjoy the season.

If some or all of your friends are in the same friend group, you can do a Secret Santa, where everyone buys one gift and you all meet for lunch or dinner. You can also plan something festive with a friend instead; perhaps you can bake cookies, go and cut down your trees together, or see a holiday movie. Spending time together is truly the greatest gift.

Remember, the holidays are about giving with joy in our hearts, not from a place of obligation. Our families also don’t love it when we are running around stressed and in a bad mood, putting pressure on ourselves, to create what we think is a magical Christmas or to keep up with traditions. Remember, they would much rather our joyful presence than all the trimmings and some extra presents.

I myself, decided to do a little less this year. Typically, I make calendars with pictures of my kids for their grandparents and host Christmas Eve dinner. This year, I decided not to make the calendar, and we made reservations to go out to eat. It feels good to do a little less and I am certainly less stressed!

Wishing you a peaceful, less expensive, joyful holiday season!

Love,

Sherry