Mindful Mom

DEAR SHERRY:

I have heard you accurately claim that schools do not teach students how to know themselves, the most important subject. I couldn’t agree more. I am not in a position to change school structure or curriculum, but I am a mother and public school teacher. I wonder, if you had your way, what would you say are the most important tenets or rudiments to be taught in the subject of “self” and how can I teach or model these priority lessons?

Thank you,

MINDFUL MOM

DEAR MINDFUL MOM:

I believe people have a natural tendency to work through their problems if one is in a safe, caring, and supportive environment. Healing begins to occur by establishing a trusting relationship with my clients and encouraging them to trust and believe in themselves.

Here are some tenets that can help cultivate a strong sense of self in children:

*Realize that some behavior can stem from experiences in the past that have not been fully processed. These events can go back as early as prenatal and birth experiences. Be mindful of heightened responses. Then identify its origin, talk about it, and help them to process this event.

*Children are egocentric, and when things are “off”, and they aren’t feeling secure, they think they did something wrong. Let them know they have done nothing wrong, and communicate with them about what is going on.

*Children pick up the energy around them. If a child is acting out or trying to be perfect, examine what is happening in their environment, especially at home.

*Let your child know they have innate wisdom and that the answers to all questions are within them. Foster this by asking them what they think as opposed to offering your opinion.

*Don’t try to protect your child from their feelings or deny them. Listen quietly and encourage them to tell you more.

*Seek to understand your child and help them understand their behavior. We don’t need to fix our children’s problems. Natural consequences and or examining the root of certain behaviors cultivate resilient children.

*Encourage play. Children naturally connect with themselves and process emotions through play. You may get a lot of insight into your child’s world (aspirations, fears, frustrations) by watching them.

I believe that being a parent is the most important job in the world. No parent can provide security to their child 100% of the time. We all have our issues, and there is no such thing as a perfect parent. We are all here to learn and grow through our experiences. Be mindful, though, of the tremendous influence you have on your child. By establishing a trusting relationship with your child through practicing these tenets, you can help your child to know themself better and thrive.

I talk about these concepts and provide many other tools to help people connect with themselves in my six-week workshop, "Discover Your Roadmap to Healing; Learn how to navigate your life and live in joy!" If you are interested, you can find information about my upcoming workshop on my website.

May you be mindful and compassionate with yourself on your journey of parenting!

Love,

SHERRY