Ultimate Mama
Dear Sherry,
I love my children and am known as the “ultimate mama”, always there for them, doing everything for them, my kids and my husband come first, and for years I’ve been fulfilling myself only in the time that’s left after taking care of everyone. Now I’m on the verge of big success and in order to get there, I need much more time in the day and energy to think about myself and my goals. How do I do this when my kids’ stuff still takes over? How do I grow the space I need in the family while not taking away from what they all are used to getting from me?
THE ULTIMATE MAMA
DEAR ULTIMATE MAMA,
I think it will be helpful if you redefine what it means to be the “ultimate mama”.
Eighty percent of what children learn is through observation. You would be teaching them so many things by going after your dreams? For example, you would be teaching them to aspire to achieve their dreams and that they can do anything they set their mind to. They would learn that what they want matters, and that hard work pays off.
I know if they are used to things being a certain way, it might be a little difficult to change the dynamic. Talk to them and let them know how important this is to you and why. Share your story with them. They will be less likely to see this in a negative light and be happy to take on more responsibility. I would also ask them how they feel about this change, and if necessary, help them to process their feelings.
I too, have so many aspirations. I want my workshops to be offered worldwide and my Dear Sherry column to be featured on other platforms, but all of that takes time. I don’t do a lot for my kids, I teach them to do things for themselves, and we all contribute to family tasks. I am there for them emotionally, and I know that helps them feel secure and loved. I also know they are very proud of my achievements and everything they watch me aspire to do to help the world be informed and heal.
When you sacrifice your dreams to fulfill the needs of your kids, you can indirectly teach your kids to do for others and forgo their wants and needs. We all have a purpose, and I hear loud and clear that you want to follow yours. We are capable of anything we can imagine. We are limitless. Do you want to blaze the trail to help your kids reach for the stars? When you do, I am sure they will say, that’s my “ultimate mama!”
Follow your bliss, let go of the guilt; it will benefit you, your kids, and the world!
Lots of love from your soul sister,
Sherry
